Friends

July 23, 2026

Which of us does not crave a good life?

A good life can be defined by a variety of measures. A safe and secure environment is fundamental. We want our output to matter, doing what is interesting, rewarding, and delivers positive impact to others. Many of us desire a solid family structure with a partner who we treasure and who in turn values us to go along with the joy of offspring, if we’re so inclined.

We are hopeful that when our time on earth is complete, we will have built a legacy. I’ve heard it said an ideal is to “live our lives such that at the end our memory will be celebrated at a memorial service that is standing room only.”

I suppose that we are each a part of everything we have done, everywhere we have been, and everyone we have encountered. It’s that last part, “everyone we have encountered,” that hit home recently.

It was a remote meeting with a prospective coaching client. Forty years my junior she was in a rough spot. Well educated, yet unemployed. Broken, she confessed that she didn’t deserve the affection of others. Worse, she went on to tell me the number of relationships she had wrecked admitting the void of not having even one friend at present. It was then that I realized I was being summoned to a different role than coach, a more important calling. Regardless of whether she engaged with me professionally, I then told her, “I was going to be her friend.”

When we next communicated, she was better. Moreover, she helped me realize the tremendous wealth I have enjoyed through friendships. I reflected on my good fortune.

One of my earliest friends in first grade was Kenneth Ray Blakey. Kenneth Ray had the distinction of being the first African American student to set foot in the recently integrated Fort Worth Public School System in 1963. On occasion that year, he came to my house after school to play. I recall Kenneth Ray was a fan of the Minnesota Twins.

Years later my mother shared with me how upsetting his presence was to one of our next-door neighbors.

Kenneth Ray switched schools after that first year. I wonder what happened to him and if he ever considers his unique place in history? I do.

Later in high school I played sports with a guy I had known since 6th grade.  Still to this day we exchange a phone call annually on our respective birthdays.  I carpooled to school with my good buddy down the street.  We maintain contact and he’s enjoyed a successful career on the east coast.  Another friend recently retired after a long career as a physician.  He texted me today about another mutual friend who continues an illustrious career as frontman for an avant garde rock band.

On to college where I met the person who would become my very best friend.  She and I recently celebrated our 46th wedding anniversary.

It was also while we were at university that I made connection with a group of similarly sports-minded guys who eventually became my fraternity brothers.  It was through these relationships that I was eventually linked to a bigger sports world and ultimately a part-time role with ESPN. 

I have now been affiliated with that company for more than 30 years.  Through those years as a talent statistician, I have had the fortune of working with a plethora of crews.  Despite that lengthy tenure, I can fairly say that the most enjoyable days have perhaps been the recent ones and having the opportunity to produce broadcasts with not only work colleagues, but people I cherish as being my friends. 

In mid-career for those in executive positions, the development of friendships can be a difficult proposition.  From a professional standpoint, fraternization with subordinate employees can lead to inherent risks of inappropriate relationships.  In addition, family demands can lessen the opportunities to develop relationships outside the work environment.  I found often that our friends were the parents of those that our kids attended school with.  When conflicts occurred in those relationships and the kids moved on, so did our adult friends. 

I’m glad to have reached a stage of life that in some ways resembles being in school again and having the chance to formulate new remembrances with a new set of buddies with common interests and experiences.

It is good to be at a place of having meaningful friendships.  If you are in that position, treasure that gift and your memories with those people.  Nurture your relationships:  text, write, call, plan get togethers.  Who needs to hear from you? 

The Seed Sower